When I was younger, I always remember my mum calling me a worrier. Saying that I would ‘...worry if I didn’t have anything to worry about’, and it was true, I was terrible for it. I honestly don’t know when it shifted, but that side of me has pretty much dissipated. All I can say for certain is it was within the last five years (and probably something to do with copious self-development/business and spiritual books I read!).

I still get stressed and overwhelmed, especially if I am about to launch something or throw myself into a big project (*waves to the Christmas stationery advent calendar to-do list!) but I choose my battles and what I hold onto and what I don’t. I try and think whether it is worth worrying about, and ask myself the following:

• What will change through me putting all my energy into worrying about this?

• Is this something I can control?

• Will I still be thinking about it in five years?

With the world the way it is right now, it can seem like there is so much more to think about in our every day lives. Things can feel relentless and out of control, so I thought I would share some of my favourite tips to unwind, de-stress and just relax, because you have to help yourself if you want happier days! That was such an epiphany for me : you have to help yourself.

Waiting for someone else to give you an answer to your worries or to take everything away seems to me like a recipe for failure. You have to claim your own power in life, with everything you do, from making big business or life choices to doing things that will aid your relaxation and rest… so let’s jump in.

I would love you to comment under this post and let me know what your top relaxation tips are too, lets share some happiness!

ONE | GET IT DOWN ON PAPER

Yes, you probably saw it coming, but one of my top things to do, especially first thing in the morning, is to journal. Journal anything and everything that is on your mind, the good, the bad and the happy! It is such a cathartic routine to get into and can mean that you leave the bulk of your worries behind you for the day, right at the start.

I would say that the most important thing to remember is not to put yourself under any pressure about it being a daily routine if you already know it isn’t realistic. Just do it when you have time and want to!

Personally, I have a notebook I have set aside for general journaling; it has to be something you actually enjoy writing in! I also have the Vibe and Flow ‘90 Day Manifestation Journal’, which is a new addition to my journaling routine. It is a journal that you fill out in the morning and the evening and focuses on manifesting your top three goals. It also encourages check ins every ten days; I have never been so consistent in my life when it comes to writing in a journal. I love it and will definitely repurchase after the first 90 days are through.

Whatever you choose to do, make it fun for you. Set 10 minutes aside, shut the door to whatever room you’re in and enjoy your quiet time. If you are stuck for ideas just write a list of things that make you happy or things you are grateful for. Or just start writing ‘today I feel…’ and see what flows.

As a side note to journaling… if you find yourself getting overwhelmed and stressed at the amount you have to get done in the day, I would highly recommend you make a to-do list right at the start of your day. Brain dump everything in your mind down and, as the day goes on, highlight one of the most important tasks at a time to complete and focus on that.

TWO | RECONNECT

Reconnection with my surroundings helps me feel grounded and reminds me that there is more going on in the world to be thankful for than I think there is when I am stressed and stuck working in my office all day. Whether you simply take a cuppa out in your garden and grab some fresh air or, like me, like to hike out in nature, I guarantee you will reap the benefits afterwards.

Obviously we have a sudden release of all those good things in our body when we exercise, but the mindset shifts that can happen when we are out in nature can be so underrated. I have most of my ideas when I walk; it’s like a moving meditation for me. I can leave the house feeling worried, stressed or have a problem that needs solving, and return home with a solution, or at the very least feeling much happier.

THREE | BREATHE

Whilst reading Ollie Ollerton’s book ‘Battle Ready’ (actually I listened to it, but you get it!), I was intrigued by some of the things he was taught whilst in training for the SBS (Special Boat Service), and found some of his techniques really handy.

The one that I use regularly, I’ll get onto why in a minute, is the ‘cube breathing’ technique. He describes you picturing a cube and breathing in for four counts (up one edge of the cube), holding for four counts (across the top of the cube), exhaling for four (down the other side) and holding for four (travelling back to your starting point on the cube).

This technique is meant to give your brain some space to calm down and bring your thoughts into the present. I find this sort of thing useful when something makes me mad or upset. I think that acting on something immediately can be super tempting, but nine times out of ten we will regret it, so doing something like this is helpful.

Ollie suggests it helps those who struggle with meditation too as it gives something to focus on. There are so many breathing techniques that can be useful and that have a variety of outcomes: relaxing, invigorating etc, so look into what feels right for you.

FOUR | GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION

Sometimes all the will in the world can not guarantee your ability to relax. For me, with this lovely business of mine taking up a lot of my time, I’ll be honest, I really struggle to take time out. The only way I can do this is to say it out loud and write it in my planner ‘DAY OFF’ or block out some time with intention.

The morning walk is something I always make time for but an actual block of hours off or (gulp) a whole day off, can feel out of reach. I think the act of setting an intention for yourself and your need to relax means you are more likely to do it. Saying ‘oh, I may take a few hours off today’ is not very convincing, so open your diary and block out a realistic stretch of time for you to chill baby! I may not do it often enough, but when I do, I do it right!

FIVE | DO SOMETHING FUN

Obvious? Probably, but laughter really is the best medicine!

I know that when I call a friend, or even have a WhatsApp voice note marathon, things inevitably end in laughter. It feels so good to just let loose and talk utter nonsense for a while. Better yet, when you spend time with ‘your people’, the ones you can just be yourself with, you are more likely to let go of what’s on your mind. At the very least you can talk things through with them, or just put on a funny film and laugh. Maybe what is fun for you is cooking your favourite meal, treating yourself to a yummy dessert and chilling in front of a series you want to binge watch, maybe it is booking in to do something you have always wanted to try (for me, that thing will be paddle boarding, and it will be soon!), whatever it is, just let yourself go, have fun, alone or otherwise and I promise things will feel better.

BONUS TIP

This isn’t so much about relaxing, but about clearing out your head when you have one of those worries that won’t shift no matter what.

When I have a problem, or something sitting heavy on my mind, what often helps me to see clearer is to split a page in two, visualise both possible outcomes and write them down, listing all the things that could happen if you went one way in one column and repeating for the other option.

You will quickly learn what is right for you because you will ‘feel’ energy more around one - that could be high vibe energy, pointing you towards it, or a heap of negative energy, drawing your attention to the reasons you shouldn’t do it.

Sometimes just relaxing doesn’t work, which is why I like to face the issues head on and use that technique. Other times we just need to chill our little head out a bit because we have made mountains out of molehills and, as soon as we learn to relax things don’t seem as bad!

I should have included napping here too, because I can be having a really horrible day and always know that a 15 minute power nap will make me feel re-energised!

I hope this post was helpful. Be sure to comment below with your favourite ways to relax, I would love to hear them.